Sorry for saying this, but:

No one will care if the inventor of the flat angle seat dies. 

(I don´t own the above picture)

History

Not very long time ago I had one of those moments in which you simply stop and start thinking about your life. Yes, even so I´m very used to fake oxygen my brain can still produce synapses.

I remembered my grandmother from my mothers´ side explaining me the glory days, the golden era of jet-set. My grandmother was a flight attendant or as she liked to say ´stewardess´ for a very distinguished airline in USA in the 1950´s.

I remembered how her eyes (even so she was 90 years old back then) sparkled each time she spoke about it. The glory days were passengers actually knew what soap and shampoo was before going to an airport. Those days were people groomed up for a flight even if it was a short or an extra long haul. The days were a stewardess really had to have pose, the days were you had it or didn't have it.

Now a day is simply about height, how much languages you can speak and if red looks good in your lips. 

As we all know the true concept about travelling has changed tremendously over the decades: in-flight gourmet service is not the same as before (when a meal tray was prepared it had lobster and roast beef, not just already pre-cut pieces, no. We are talking about the real thing here); they used real non synthetic fabric for seats; appetizers were served in real full scale glasses (not those little useless ones that I have to purr your whisky or wine).

My grandmother used to tell me that airports were a sort of fashion parades, mainly from France and Italy. Women wore this tight silhouette dresses (even though some were a little but chubby) while men walked around in their tailor made suits. Luggage was also very different. Leather fabric suitcases were carried along in each terminal and women just had a small or medium purse as hand luggage, that was it; it was the era were people wore perfumes that they applied in their homes (duty free didn´t exist) and it was the time were woman applied make-up before and during each flight: “I need to powder my nose”.

Those were the days were there was only First and Coach, not this rare modern invention of Business Class. Or you were wealthy or rich, that was it.

In all of her years of career she never had an issue with a passenger, not even once. She used to explain that passengers were polite and friendly towards crew; they didn´t have the need to show that they were heading to a destination or that they had money. Of course that she might have encountered a passenger like that during all her years but it wasn´t a majority as it is now a days.

Yes, I know that things changed a lot during these past decades. But from my humble point of view I believe is passenger´s fault that things are the way they are. Passenger´s are the ones that simply stop caring about others and themselves. Now a day’s passenger’s travel in flip flops or in this horrible man made things called crocks as it is more “comfortable”. Question: why should I have the need to see your feet? Also, it seems that passengers truly believe that soap and shampoo may hurt them. Do you have an idea how many times have I crossed someone who smelled literally as something that was rotten and fermented at the same time? And even I´m not going to go `there`, and there is: how disgusting a passenger might be when he / she eats. They barf and chew with their mouths open and spill everything around leaving chunks of spit-food in their trays that then we have to pick up with a glorious big smile.

Is not the airline industry that has decayed the art of travelling over the decades. They just addapted to it: now-a-days travelling experience has become a massive industry when years ago was just for a selected group.

But really, is that hard to say thank you, excuse me, may I or goodbye? I know how to say it in 5 different languages, pick your choice. 

(I don´t own the above picture)

Sometimes, my job is tough:

“No Sir, when you flush the toilet your poo isn´t sucked out of the aircraft. It goes to storage. So no Sir, you won´t be able to shit India”.

(I don´t own the above picture)

Keep on pushing:

Do you know what's an electric chair?

Soon you will if you keep on playing with the call button.

(I don´t own the above picture)

Didn´t you know?

That there are gay pilots, so what? 

(I don´t own the above picture)

Big Brother or let´s better say Big Crew

Many times I see a man enjoying the company of a woman that doesn´t look exactly as his assistant. A day after I see the same man flying with his wife and children. We know it all…

(I don´t own the above picture)

SYD - NYC

Last week I woke up in Sydney after an extra long haul flight. Two days later I was in New York. Hotel rooms in which we tend to stay worldwide are very much alike as they all are from the same hotel brand. They have the same structures in the rooms, more or less exactly the same square meters, even sometimes they have the same paintings (even so that the Hotel that you are staying is in a far away Continent than the Hotel that you were sleeping two days before).

I woke up in New York after another very long flight walking towards the bathroom searching for another towel as I was going back again for the second time in the month to my “ladies days”. When you travel  constantly through different time zones your body starts a Salsa Dance, it has no idea what it´s doing but somehow it manages to work.

After going back to bed and setting again the temperature of the A/C I faded away into my sleep. Minutes later the phone ranged: wakeup call very early in the morning. So I continued with the same routine (if you don´t have a routine for basic things it means that you are screwed). So I turned on the electric kettle, prepared a hot steaming shower, drunk my tea and dressed: skinny jeans, thick tall white socks, thick white long t-shirt, woolen sweater and my black UGG´s. While I walked through the door of my room and into the elevator I felt some cold and hot flashes (very common thing in me when I have my period. My body temperature may go on and off with the blink of an eye – a personally believe that is a small graphic test of what my menopauses will be).

When I reached to the lobby I suddenly started to have heart palpitations, cold sweats and of course, I was dizzy. The lobby wasn´t the same that my brain had pictured, people were so much different from what I remembered and certainly the Opera House wasn´t any nearby sight. I forgot I was in New York convinced I was in Sydney.

After next month roster I have the usual blood work and psychometric test, oh god help me. 

(I don´t own the above picture)