Relationship status: cabin crew

Is almost a general idea that all cabin crew are trolley dollies. A big bimbo thing that works up in the sky asking: tea or coffee? With milk and sugar? Besides being a nurse counselor fire fighter rescuer first aid medic guru travelling guide weather forecast girl a human exchange rate calculator an ambassador hostess room service housekeeper valet chef personal assistant, but there is one thing that I am not: mistress.

There are many who have their different plates of desserts around the world and go jumping around beds as if they were part of the Cirque du Soleil aerobic team, especially with the ones that are under the 2 years contract. They have the energy and that´s perfect! But what they shouldn´t have is the black hole that they have in their mouths. The ability of non-stop talking about who they dated and what they did, with every possible d-e-t-a-i-l that you would not ever imagine.

Due to my career I noticed that there is a very particularly breed that are fund of dating (almost) only cabin crew, is like their fetish. They like to spend time with someone that they know that they are not going to see next Friday; they relax by the fact that they can talk about the world and we don´t become mellow or shallow by their comments, as we can understand perfectly what the other one is talking about; but above all is almost free uncompromised sex. And it´s okay, who am I to judge? But I see these poor young girls in their 20´s all happy in their expectation that they are going to go back to New York (for example) to meet again with the person that they dated a month before (and constantly Skype) and then when they arrived there (after swapping rosters) that person is: unenviable – aka: dating another crew, that most likely is someone that you flew before. Many times is a mutual consent, it´s like if they jump from one pond to another just like frogs. That´s why I like to call it: the frog effect – “he / she is a froggy”.

Then you may find what I like to call the: octopus lover effect. That person that you met in one of your flights let´s says HQ to Bangkok. And he is so passionate and logical with you during the flight and very well mannered and knows how to behave around you while you work. Then he takes you out for dinner, then a phew drinks and then each one return to their own Hotel without any sort of dessert only with the exception of the one that you had during dinner. You go back the next day back to HQ and you start receiving an infinity amount of what´s up and text messages, even sometimes delivery flowers with a box of dark chocolate bonbons filled with strawberry. He misses you and thinks about you all day long, you finally start to believe again in prince charming and white horses. But then, after you feel that you can unbuckle and move around the cabin you find out that the person is married – cabin crew knows everything. That´s why each time we had to Skype he was working, in the office, at his very late and unusual local hour. The worst part is that you may encounter that person once again in another flight but with the company of his family and all travelling happily ever after in business class.

And finally but not least you may find the ménage: crew that like to party (in group) when they reach a certain destination or even sometimes they perform the art of multiflirting with other crew arranging a particular gathering with a passenger after landing. Yes, this happens more than you think.

So sometimes (many times) the best survival mode if you want to avoid all of that drama is just to admit that your relationship status is: cabin crew which is next to celibate. 

(I don´t own the above picture)