Cause they stare right at them and my eyes are on my head
(I don´t own the above picture)
martes, 2 de diciembre de 2014
Top 5 passengers to travel with: 2nd of December 2014
At the end of each month I´ll give you a small
resume of my top 5 and bottom 5 passengers’ nationalities to work with
1)
Japanese: this
simple humanoid robots are the state-of-the-art when it comes to traveling. Not
only they are quiet beyond silence but also clean beyond soap. Perfectly timed
to check in and board they respect rules and the other as if it were to be the
most precious thing that they would ever meet. Following a strict criteria of
grooming and unprecedented folding-pack-away they know how-to travel in
comfort. Style goes beyond than wearing the latest Prada bag when you have to
go for a 13 hour flight. Style goes with comfort and both must be a perfect
balance, Japanese achieve this with almost no effort whatsoever. Best flights
are to Japan.
2)
South-Koreans:
even so they still continue to be a very close society when it comes to foreigners
(from my personal point of view), they respect all rules of social and personal
etiquette. Well groomed and on-time passengers they travel exactly with what
they need but sometimes they over-shop in the Duty Free. A flight from Soul is
a chapel, not only for how quiet it is but also for how sainted you might feel
as a crew. This creatures know their way in the airport even so they might be
first time travelers – a joy of travel
3)
Finish:
style – yes; education – top nudge. It has always surprised me the fact of how
cultured and open minded Finish culture is regarding traveling and the world.
They respect your work as a crew and don’t over push the capacity of your
skills in almost any of your flights. Most of them know how to speak fluently
at least 4 languages and their amazing virtue for education comes hand by hand
with the fact of respect for human decency. Traveling with them is like going
with a human talking Lonely Planet.
4)
Germans:
on time – precision in the tik and tok. Without hesitation their culture is all
about precision and the value of time. Time is money and it can’t be wasted, as
for this in any of my flights I ever had a German come up late or as a “non-show”.
They not only respect minutes as if they were to be gold but also understand
that the abuse of it may harm others. Respect and silence is a must for them,
if you say it you do it.
5)
Grey-zone > Thai: this super friendly
culture may have to opposite that are very extreme from my point of view. Or
they might be very warm and well educated or very ignorant and dirty minded.
Depending in the flight and each passenger I may have a totally different anecdote.
Once again, is all a matter of luck.
(I don´t own the above picture)
Bottom 5 passengers to travel with: 2nd of December 2014
At the end of each month I´ll give you a small
resume of my top 5 and bottom 5 passengers’ nationalities to work with
1)
Indians:
yes, they still are in the top of the list. Why? To start with the reel of
their ignorance brings a never ending list of bad habits, from spitting to
smelling and a billion grays in between. Women have no idea what female hygiene
is and this is the main problem. Some are afraid of wearing pads when
menstruating and they try to hide that because it may be consider as something
to be shame about. Men as they want to be the “macho alpha” treat others as if
they were scum or something inferior, especially when it comes to service. You
have no idea how many times in the same flight I was treated as their own personal
slave. How? Words and sentences as “thank you” or “your welcome” doesn’t exist
in their vocabulary, not because they don’t know how to speak the basic English
but mainly because someone like me is not worthy of those words.
2)
Chinese: “ni
hao” and a rumble stamped come during boarding. Smashing others passenger’s
belongings in the overhead compartments, blocking aisles, jumping the bathroom queue
is just one of the many succulent behaviors that may be seen. Is not that they
are ignorant; it’s the fact that they want to take advantage of every situation
as if it were to be life or death. Rules are bend into their favor (in their
own little minds) and even so you might repeat politely that they must buckle
their seatbelts during take-off or landing they look right at you as if they
couldn’t understand what you are saying. Never I will forget, not very long
time ago, in Auckland when in immigrations agents asked and showed through
cards which items were not allowed to enter New Zealand without being declared
to a relative old Chinese couple. They shook their head and said “no”. When all
of their belonging (they were many card boxes) went through the scanning
machine, a Woolworth / Jumbo of herbs and fruits showed up. They play stupid
and may put your nerves to the bear top of your patience.
3)
Nigerians:
I still can’t personally stand up the fact that men want to pretend that they
are much more “men” than they truly are. In my flights to Lagos it’s a repeated
story to watch how a husband treats his wife as if she were to be nothing more
than a carry on item. Sad to believe and even hear (even so I don’t speak Nigerian)
their values towards others. Also the fact of hygiene is something that really
concerned me (especially due to the Ebola outbreak), they spit food and eat
with their hands. Alcohol in gel – 4 small bottles in a row in each flight
4)
Brits:
generally speaking they have spiked to the front of the row for a liver
transplant. Bear and more bear, gin and whisky. The bar in all of my flights is
packed with red swollen faces and glasses must be always filled to the top. One
glass, two glasses, three, four and they simply won’t pass out. If they were to
be the etiquette drunks I might say “okay, not a problem” but generally
speaking this is not the case. Why? They start shouting and spitting saliva
while they do. Some become “touchy” and even unbearable to attend.
5)
Grey-zone
> Southafricans: not entirely polite not entirely rude. Deepening in the
flight and the historical background (general speaking) of the overall
manifesto it may be a very peaceful journey or an erratic mixture of a blend of
the alcoholic Brit culture with the nasty behavior of Nigerians.
(I don´t own the above picture)
lunes, 1 de diciembre de 2014
Dear Santa Claus,
Do you remember me? The blond skinny girl who went to church every Sunday
until she was 16 and then starting doing community work for UNICEF? Well, I understand
that you are a very busy person with a lot of things in your agenda: watching
out that your toy-fabric doesn’t collapse due to the fact that the North Pole
is melting due to Greenhouse effects or that your reindeers are not accidentally
shot down midair. Nevertheless I know that you will organize everything that
comes along and perform an exciting and wonderful task as you do every year.
I would like to start this letter and remind you about my good will and
warm heart. This year I have cleaned vomit from a wide range of John and Jane
Doe's, wiped menstruation stains from the many Indians who have seated in my jump
seat while waiting for the toilet. I politely beard each spit and barf from almost
every Chinese that sat down in my sector while I smiled to every nasty and
jealous East European Purser that I had to work with while playing stupid to
the plane-boring jokes of every Australian wanna-be-recruiter crew.
I have dealt with a nasty divorce; cried my soul out in the bathroom of
each flight missing what I lost. I packed my life in many boxes and just
finished with one. I had to be very strong to the wide variety of comments of a close minded society in which each time I confesed that I am divorced I had to stand up as if I had a terminal disease
that would never have a cure. I had to give explanations to the very non charming
Indian Manager about why I wanted to go back to the last place where I found
myself as if she were to be God’s inspector. I had to close my eyes and
overcome each time some of my fellow colleagues looked at me with pitiful eyes
thanks to the inspector’s open mouth.
Not only had I learned to build longer walls greater than the Great
Chinese but also I understood the meaning of each brick. With no regrets, Dear
Santa, I smiled and embraced every situation as if I were to be an emotional
kamikaze of my own paths. So if you kindly take all of that into consideration
I would like to ask you for the next gifts:
To start with I would like, if possible, not to work with any female
crew in my upcoming rosters. My system doesn’t stand any more bitch drama, fuzz
or menstrual competition of who has the strongest flow.
In addition I would like to have a third gay friend. Those are loyal,
ground braking souls and people that you may actually trust > something that is
almost a hidden treasure.
Last but not least I would like to have a normal sleeping patron were I
may close my eyes and with the blink of a dream fall into a deep sleep for 8
hours in a row without any hot flashes, goosebumps or disorientation.
And of course I also want world peace and a Mac.
Hope you have a wonderful transpolar flight to every one of your
destinations and watch out for Ebola or any missing rocket.
Take care!
Yours,
L
(I don´t own the above picture)
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