Lobby request:

Would you mind re coding my room card? Accidentally it was next to my I-pad, I-phone, Nexus 5, Blackberry, Laptop and Camera.

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Standby:

The closest thing to a human lottery

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PM:

“I’m having hot flashes”

“No sweety, we just landed in Middle East almost during Ramadan”

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Don’t be low cost – donate!

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Should I write a book?

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Indian cuisine:

Options in today flight are between beef or pasta with Bolognese

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Do you have a life?

A380 to SFO

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Rocket: EZE – MIA – EZE

And they just feel like the Challenger

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Fat silence

I’m slim and there are people who are not slim, they might be chubby round fat or obese. There are people who can run a marathon and others just can make it to the fridge. Sure that you are thinking that I might be discriminating, guess what, I am. You also might think that what I’m thinking and even saying is wrong but, until what point is it? We are all born different with different capacities and different shapes that make’s us who we are. In our own limits we move around even so sometimes we push a little bit those boundaries.

I must confess that when I was a little child I wanted to be an astronaut, problem was that I was never good with math, physics or chemistry. So my dream of being the first woman to go to Mars was drained like a sale of Boss products in Marshall’s. My limitation came into space and in that limited sense I chose a career that allowed me to be up there – 35.000 ft.

The first thing that I was taught is that if you want to fly you must be fit - there is no grey area in this matter. We do know that working in a limited space, lifting weight, going up and down to fetch something from the trolley; coping with jet-lag, hormones and a menstrual period is not a task for everyone. Also another fact is that we are in charge of safety and security, which means that if the plane crashes down we are the ones to proceed and organize a full scale evacuation, so once again: we must be in shape.

Not very long time ago someone very intelligent told me: “when you buy a ticket you purchase not only comfort but also safety”. Those words kept on repeating into my head and it got me thinking: “if that is so, how a fat cabin crew from an X American Flagship airline can provide safety when she can barely move in the aisle due to her overweight bottom?” I couldn’t understand the fact that it sounded ironic that after 9/11 safety issued became a number 1 priority in commercial airline carriers’ agenda but in the same time it didn’t. Many American airline carries operate with crew that are not built to fly: they are old, they are fat and they have no sense of safety procedures – at all.

I may start with a billion examples but the most important part in this play is the role of Unions. American Unions protect too much the workers but expose’s the consumer in their script. Old contracts with an amazing pay and over standing benefits have a direct consequence: old cabin crew don’t retire and in the same time they are unable to fire or report a “non-fit-crew” because they might get sue for harassment and even discrimination. Another issue is seniority, a never ending matter in the humor of American crew. Do you imagine flying all your life coast to coast and never seeing the Eiffel Tower? Well, that is true. There are many (and when I say many it’s many) crew that fly there whole life and even so their seniority level is quiet high they never get the chance o fan intercontinental long haul flight. Why? Because crew that are +60 years old won’t retire and as a direct consequence new crew (well, after 5 years flying they are not really new) can’t be promoted not even into premium classes. Okay, that’s selfish. And once again I asked myself: “is it really just like that? Is it really that they only must go through security training again and if they pass they are okay to fly”? Answer: “yes”.

The barriers are very simple and it has been always like that. Generally speaking they need to know how to swim with no flotation device a couple of meters, go through the SIM (flying simulator) and answer a very basic multiple answer exam. Point is that a 65 year old woman doesn’t have the enough physical strength to react in an emergency procedure like a 20’s something year old crew.

It won’t surprise me that in a couple of years we’ll start listening: “in case of sudden decompression use the closest fat crew to cover the hole”? Not funny – smile.

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