The first thing I learned during training: nationality bipolar agent

Germans that wanted to be Latins, Latins that wanted to be more European and Japanese that wanted to be Americans and I was standing there waving a neutral flag, just like Switzerland.

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Chanlel 5? No, it´s personal g-a-s

Many times I wish that I could grab the O2 tube and perform service with the mask on

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Pilot: (verb)

They “drive” an aluminum tube, full of jet-fuel at 35.000 feet but somehow they don´t know how to pour coffee from the galley

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Do you know how we are called nowadays?

Donut (Donna) – because we carry one on our heads all day long

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Old common boring sentences:

Madam I´m cold – Sorry, but it´s too hot – It´s suddenly freezing, could you turn the A/C off? And to all of them I would like to tell them: “no, the A/C has life on its own and there is nothing I can do about it”

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My favorite sentences to that unbearable passenger:

Sorry Sir, but we run out of ice – smile 

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Don´t you just wish that the disinfectant / bug spray would be sleeping gas instead?

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J insult:

We are ordered to remember (by hard) the wine list advising each customer the best one for each meal. Yes, even the ones that are used to card box wine

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Just saying:

Who would have ever imagine that a human being would be avail to sleep in so many bed around the world in just one week without being staff of the rabbit industry – almost

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It´s all about order:

Every time I´m smiling, assisting you during boarding I imagine that your seat is connected to an eject button in which I have total command in my jump seat – smile

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Twilight face:

When you enter a terminal building and notice the face of passenger in transit for over 10 hours

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In the air and in the ground:

Ground staff maybe as evil and vicious as cabin crew

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Take the bus:

3 hours before gate closes for a 45 minutes flight

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Irony:

Being crew and getting your bags lost

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The fastest way of payback:

Report  – “I saw him drinking alcohol”

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Briefing:

A non subtle way of fake modesty

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Female crew: descriptive

It has been long time since my last semi long soul writing sharing experience. As usual several things happened in this time: as you already know I got promoted, also I got married and I still have an instagram / blog copy-cat someplace in this cyber world.

Besides from all that I had this blurry thought of line during this week and I defiantly came into a conclusion: feminism in work is horrible but I rather deal with machism than feminism, why? Because men when it comes to differences, arguments or even debates they are much more straight thinking than woman while woman, many times (not always), hold grudge for a longer period of time than men. Not also that, women tend to be much more competitive than men in the same working instance. Okay, we all know that a little bit of competition is good but sometimes when things go too far they are not. An example: I literally saw how a female crew from Slovakia tried to filth the galley and then blame another male crew from USA, or how an Indian female crew accused another male crew from Australia because she “thought” she saw him “drunk” (he actually had a neurological problem - an epileptic attack during a layover).

We also have another thing called “lady-problems-once-a-mont-issues” and yes that could also trigger and set higher the competition mood and the bitchy facet of some. Sometimes we are in pain, uncomfortable, swollen, fighting jet-lag, trying to smile, serve and pretending to be attentive. Some may manage all of that but others can´t. And those who can´t and are in a not-very-friendly-mood they may transform into a hectic soul-less creatures spreading horrible rumors about other crew, passengers or even ground staff. Not only that, even you know and almost everyone realizes that the rumors are false there is always this other crew who becomes its accomplice and starts saying: “yes, it´s true! I saw her doing that” even so they never met each other. But you may think: “well, who cares about that? Rumors are rumors and as I know that they are not true I will just not pay attention to them”. Problem comes when those fake words and accusations reach HQ and you might get a notification and then you must give an explanation to your Manager about it. In many cases crew got suspended and ever fired for things they never said or situations they never lived. The worst thing about this is that form my line of experience 50% of the times woman are the ones who start this disgusting roulette, 35% Indians and 15% bored queens. So, yes, when people start talking about how good it was in the 70´s when woman came out and started to have a voice of their own and started to "officialy" to compete in the same level as men, I don´t fully agree. Women are complicated to work with not only because we have a natural physical reaction each month but also because we are not capable of thinking one thing at the time (and sometimes doing that is not good at all).

In the other hand when a straight man has a problem with another crew, they just don´t talk or they simply (almost naturally) set limits to move around while they work. Then they might through a punch here or a punch there but not at work and no one will hear about that and the most probable thing is that after the match they will be friends. They set boundaries, they move around in their areas and they (somehow) seem to handle things without stepping into a cold war.

It´s a scientific fact that men may actually think in “nothing”, it´s like they switch off their heads with a button and that is it. Woman can´t. We constantly think, over think, plan, diverse, re-diverse almost everything that goes in our head making us feel that is impossible to literally shut off our mind (not even for a second) – that´s why in some point of our lives we have told our love partner “what are you thinking about?” and he answered back “nothing” and we (somehow) don´t believe what he is saying because we think that is impossible to think in "nothing". You know what? We were wrong; they were actually absolutely 100% true when they told us that they were thinking of nothing at all.

Summing things up, we are a non-stoppable thinking machine with the added value of hormone segregation 12 times (more or less) a year. Okay, now let´s take all of that, let´s put it into an aluminum tube 35.000 feet above in the sky, let´s add 4 measurements of jet-lag, 3 and a half of sleeping disorder and multiply it for 20 female crew (or so). Conclusion: war – blood – bath

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Common dixit:

He´s not at our level

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I chew:

If I could stretch every gum that I had since I started this career I would go to a new Galaxy back and forth proximally 2 times

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Where is the sun:

In last night flight I was asked by 4 different passengers which date was it, I felt like playing Bingo because I was just trying to hit onto those numbers. We took off the 06^th but we´ll arrive on the 06^th, or 7^th or the same date? Bingo!

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Consequence of a frequent 35.000 feet:

DVT (deep vein thrombosis) or as I like to call it, I-never-remove-my-stockings almost not even going to the beach

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Translation:

If you hear the words “brace brace” it basically means that you are s@!#?

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Spot Alert: Emirates air crew tie up passenger for smoking, Arabian Business News

To see full article click on the link below

http://m.arabianbusiness.com/emirates-air-crew-tie-up-passenger-for-smoking-533316.html

Revista Betun: December 2013 Issue

My little brother published his article in Betun Magazine (Revista Betun) for Mexico in the last December issue. His work speaks about how to go on holidays with your partner and don’t die in the intent. He gives very good and practical advices on how-to deal with the coexistence of your love on in an off shore destination and how to enjoy your time with him / her. The article is in Spanish and his surname (my brother’s) it’s not “Sanguinetti” – he is using an alias / nick. If you with to contact him for media related issues let me know that I’ll put in touch. Also you may search for his work in App-Store, Revista Betun.